So, I saw a link to a puzzle the FBI put out today on slashdot. It’s a ceaser’s box crypotgraphy puzzle (google it). Apparently they put one out last year too. Here’s the link:

Last year’s: http://www.fbi.gov/page2/nov07/code112107.html

This year’s: http://www.fbi.gov/page2/dec08/code_122908.html

This brought to mind a couple other puzzles I have played with online:

A short puzzle put out by “The Cambrian House”: http://www.cambrianhouse.com/pwnit/

An extremely long and hard puzzle called “Not Pron”: http://deathball.net/notpron/

My own little puzzle game I began to create as an exercise in learning flash and then abandoned: http://cmcculloh.com/puzzle/first/screen.html

I might have posted about these before, but they are worth mentioning again… Let me know if you have stumbled across any others!

The Auditorium is awesome.

There’s no killing, no fighting, no violence. In fact, there isn’t even any people.

Sit back, relax, and turn on your minds eye. Picture if you will, a garden hose in a hot desert. Now turn the hose on. Now imagine that the hose is spraying straight out into the air, and that you can see individually every droplet of water before it evaporates into a mist. Now imagine that the water glows pure white. Now turn off the lights and all you can see is the white water spraying into the air.

Now imagine that there are buckets lain all about you and that whe you spray water into them, they make beautiful relaxing music. Ok, now imagine that the hose cannot be moved and the water sprays only away from the buckets. Imagine that you have at your disposal an orb or two that can pull in the water and send it shooting in another direction.

Now begin taking the orb and trying to redirect the water towards the buckets to make the music play. When a bucket fills up, everything goes dark, and the hose appears in a new direction, and you are given another orb or two, and another bucket is added to the game, each bucket making it’s own individual complementary music to the other bucket, so that eventually, you are surrounded by a symphony.

Ok, now stop imagining and go playauditorium.com

There are churches where people regularly use iPhones during church.

Ok, let’s be fair. Myself, my father and my mother are the only people in my church (other than one of the deacons) that even has an iPhone. It’s a small church. If someone whipped out their iPhone in church, you’d see some really funny looks. Mostly because that would mean they had put down their liturgy book, stopped singing, and pulled out a mobile device.

Still, when I read this post I was just absolutely aghast. Even if you have an iPhone, with a Bible application, why do you need to use it during church? You don’t. Or you shouldn’t.

Over the past few years I’ve considered switching churches a few times. About a month ago I was considering it again. Why? Well, I didn’t feel I was being “fed”. Meaning, I wanted a deeper, richer church experience. My solution? Switch churches! Why? Because I wasn’t thinking clearly.

Let’s review: I wanted to be “fed”. What did this mean to me exactly? That I wanted to involve God more in my life. Ok, so where was my church falling down on the job, and how would switching churches fix this? Well… err… it wasn’t and it wouldn’t. I wanted more Bible study, but I wasn’t bothering to study the Bible. I wanted to be more involved in the church community, but I didn’t bother to stay after church and actually talk to people, or go to the small groups, or book clubs, or actually commune with any of the other members (inviting them over for dinner or going to any group activities). I wanted a more robust prayer life, but I wasn’t actually taking the time to do daily prayers in any formal way.

So again, how would switching churches fix that? It wouldn’t.

The only real valid complaints I had were that I didn’t like the drive (it takes an hour or so to get to church) and that I didn’t always get anything out of the homily.

So, would switching to a protestant church fix this?

Well, it would fix the drive thing pretty easy. I could walk half a mile to church if I was dead set on doing the least amount of work possible to actually get to church Sunday morning.

It would do the exact opposite of fixing the homily though. It would eliminate the entire divine liturgy passed down from generation to generation since the time of Christ (and from what I’ve heard, that Liturgy is already watered down from a six hour service to a measly one hour and fifteen minutes). My church instead would consist of going and singing a few songs and listening to a Bible lecture. Sure, it would be a great Bible study… but… Studying the Bible has almost nothing to do with worshiping God on Sunday morning. Church is not a college course on Christianity.

Don’t get me wrong, there is quote after quote in the front of my Orthodox Study Bible expounding upon the importance of daily Bible study, dating back to the second (that’s 1XX AD) century, but that’s not what Church is about.

Jesus didn’t say, “Do some Bible study every Sunday morning in remembrance of me”. No, he said, “Do THIS (Eucharist) in remembrance of me”.  I know some protestant churches do celebrate the sacrament of Eucharist on Sundays, but I’ve never seen anyone do it the way Orthodox do, and I’ve never seen any one worship God on Sunday morning (or at any other time) the way Orthodox do.

So, why wouldn’t someone be as likely to pull out their iPhone in an Orthodox Church? Because there’s just no valid reason to. You can’t say, “Oh, I’m studying this or that” because there is no valid time in which to study whatever it is you think you need to study at that second. I’m a little surprised at the very rare occasions when someone is even writing on a piece of paper, or opening their Bible. The focus is more on worship and repentance and very little on Bible study during the liturgy.

(Bible studies are important, but aren’t actually very much a part of church on Sunday, scripture is read, and talked about a little during the homily, but that’s less a study than a call to repentance. Bible studies happen at other times than Sunday morning, which, in my opinion, is a good thing)

ROFL. Ok, this article is ludicrous; I will never give up my “flushing” toilet unless they give me something better. Think of a toilet clog now, all you have to do is plunge it. But what if your toilet was this complicated processor thing that “separates urine from feces” or whatever. You can’t plunge that. You end up calling a plumber, and even then, they probably don’t know how to fix it. So you call a specialist, and they come out and charge you $500 to fix the darn thing when, had it been a flush toilet, you should have spent $0 and two seconds plunging it.

There is no shortage of drinking water in America. There is no need to conserve anything. We get it from our rivers, and (from what they told me as a kid) we put it back in the river cleaner than we got it out. Make a toilet for third world countries, but keep your dang hands off my 2 gallon flusher!

So, you may have seen my original post where I complained that it appeared black people were voting for Obama simply because he is black. I’ve decided to take a second look at this, and this is the updated, more thought out version of that post.

If you look at the demographics below, you will see that 97% of black people who say they are going to vote, are saying they are going to vote for Obama. (post continued below)

Now, I found it impossible to believe that that many people of one race just happened to all agree with Obama over McCain on actual policy. I assumed that they were saying they were voting for him simply because he has the same color skin as him.

Colin Powell

After posting my observation, I decided to do a little more research. So apparently only 11% of black people voted for Bush in 2004. Which possibly means that 8% of those people are now voting Democrat, when they voted Republican last time. Could be because of race? Could be. Probably. I’m thinking that’s why Powell threw his weight behind Obama.

While I may have been a little hasty in my (unstated) assumption that anywhere between 30-50% of black people were voting for Obama because of race, it may actually be that 8% are. Then again, it is perfectly possible that 8% of white people aren’t voting for Obama for the same reason.

Let’s think about this for a minute though. Why is it that an entire group of people with the same skin color magically all vote the same way? That doesn’t make sense, does it? That would be like finding out that 90% of old white people who have white hair vote for McCain. If I found that out, I would suspect they were voting for him simply because they identified with him because he was old and had white hair like them. But doesn’t appear to be the case. If 90% of people over 65 were voting for McCain because he was old, then they are participating in ageism. They are behaving as a group. A crowd. Sheep.

Let’s move on. If it isn’t race, why is it that 97% of black people are voting for Obama? What percentage of black people are Democrat versus Republican? 65% as of 2004. So why are 97% of them voting for Barak?

Clarence Thomas

Which party has the most famous black people in positions of power? Republicans. Clarence Thomas (only black person on the supreme court, appointed by a Republican). Condoleezza Rice (Very prominent under Bush). Colin Powell (Again, prominent under three Republican presidents). So why is it that black people support Democrats, whom I can’t recall promoting a single African American in a position of power like these?

Now, of course, the previous paragraph goes against my very premise. If black people were voting for Barak simply because he is black, why wouldn’t they support republicans simply because of Condoleezza and Powell and Thomas? I’ve heard talk here and there about these three individuals being labelled as “sell-outs”. So maybe the fact that they are black Republicans negates their blackness (to the people to whom race matters, and who would vote based on race)?

You could sort of compare it to if a Muslim were pro-American, they would be worse to the Muslim “extremsits” than just a non-Muslim American, because not only are they pro-American, but they are “traitors” as well.

Don't be a sheep.

Again, this doesn’t answer my question. Honestly, I have no answer for my question. Do I think that African Americans are voting for Barak either soley or partly based on the fact that he is black? Yes. Absolutely. Do I think that many white people are voting for Barak simply because he is an African American? Yes. Absolutely. Do I think that some white people are NOT voting for Barak simply because they are racist? Not really. There are certainly a few, but they are no where near as many as ARE voting for him because of something as stupid and arbitrary as his ethnic feature-set.

I guess my point is, as I’ve already said, any one group acting in a uniform manner, is simply acting as a group instead of thinking for itself. People need to wake up, and start thinking for themselves. The fact that Obama is black means nothing. Doesn’t it? Isn’t that the whole point of everything we’ve worked for? Really, shouldn’t the fact that Obama is black mean just as little as what size shoe he wears?

Shelby Steele

If you’re at all interested in this topic, you should read “White Guilt” by Shelby Steele. It’s a great book, and gives wonderful insight into where we have come and where we are going as blacks and whites trying to live together in America with the weight of our ancestry, and that fact that just because some idiot white people enslaved some black people, everyone who is white assumes they had idiot ancestors who owned slaves, and feels they have to make up for it, and has this enormous amount of guilt and is afraid to say anything or do anything that would make them look even remotely racist (Even though many whites are decendants of Scottish/Irish ancestors, and had nothing to do with slavery, or, especially here in the north, many whites had ancestors who gave their lives to see the slaves freed).

O'e-B and B-Cizzle "shake" hands

Hey, I’ve got something in common with Bill Clinton! When someone inproperly shakes my hand, I have no clue what’s going on. Note the subject of Obama’s gaze, Clinton. The subject of Clinton’s gaze? His own hand. Clinton looks bemused, but honored, as most older people do, to have his hand mis-shook. Me? I hate it. I wish people would just stick their dang hand out and give me a good firm shake.

Caleb Wilson has this one down pat and then some. You shake his hand, you’re in for a treat. There’s some other people I know who make a hand shake into some sort of mission impossible code exchange that ends with the message self descructing behind your head. Yeah, it’s funny, the first time, kind of. But when you’re trying to become president, and shaking hands with a former president, it seems you wouldn’t initiate some sort of exchange that could end up with you both going “bwoughghghghg” and shaking an open hand in the air behind your head.

Which makes me recall this photo:

Obama. Caring just enough to put on pants. But not good ones.

That’s right. Obama’s in some blue jeans. There’s nothing wrong with blue jeans, but what blue jeans say to me is, “I don’t really care about what I’m doing right now.” They are just one small step above sweat pants.

Did you know that Reagan refused to remove his suit coat while sitting behind the president’s desk? And I’m not even sure if they had air conditioning back then…

Reagan, working for the common man

I seriously doubt Reagan campained in anything less than a full suit. That’s just how much respect he had for the highest seat of office in the greatest country ever to grace this earth.

Obama? Well, I’m betting he’ll plop down in his Harvard law hoodie set behind that desk, while he tries to decide how much taxes I have to “pay to underpriveleged inner-city children”, and determines what in the constitution needs to be changed in order for it to be able “to do on my behalf” things it has no business doing.

Note: I know I sound like I’m 74 years old. I’m not. I’m 24. I just respect myself and my country in an old fashioned way I guess… And yes, I’m a conservative. Obviously.

Well it’s day 7 on the new job… So how is it???

It’s good. I’ll just do pros and cons since this is from my iPhone…

Cons:
Can’t access email
Can’t access facebook
Location (22 minute drive!)
EJB (since I don’t know it)

Pros:
Can’t access email
Can’t access facebook
Location (only a 22 min drive!)
EJB (get to learn great tech!)
Love my manager
Love my co-workers
Jeans & tennis shoes
Good chair
Best cube yet
Dual monitors
Version control
Great team of EXPERIENCED programmers
Java
Really nice office
Great pay & benefits

“Dangit! My hand itches! Hrm… it looks kind of dry… I wonder if there’s some vaseline or lotion or something I can put on it around here…” Was my thought this morning as I sat typing away at my keyboard.

I sort of ignored it until a while later when I went to use the restroom. As I was washing my hands, I looked down at the other side of the sink. You know, the side that doesn’t have the soap on it. There was a “body product” there that looked like it could possible hold some toothpast or soap or something. I’d always sort of ignored it, but now, with the cracks in my skin getting burned by the soap and water, it brought to mind my need of lotion.

I read the label, “Bath & Body Works PLEASURES” hrm… I don’t like where this is going, sounds like some sort of erotic intimate product sitting on my sink… I continued cautiously, “magnolia blossom body cream”.

OK… what the heck is “Body Cream”??? My first thought is that it was some special gentle girl soap that my wife used when she washed her hands. That’s what I had always assumed when I saw it sitting there. She has “Shower Gel” instead of “Body Soap” in the shower (I think…)

But now that I needed some lotion, I wondered what “Body Cream” was. What do you do with it? The name implies some sort of conditioner or something you would put on and then wash off… Is this what Julie shaves her legs with? Like shaving cream for not your face? I mean, a cream is something you wash off, right? Surely this isn’t some sort of lotion?

It’s location on the sink seemed to indicate you didn’t use it in the shower… I picked it up and flipped it around to look at the back. I began reading:

“BEAUTIFUL The romantic” I stopped reading there and almost put it back down, as I’m typing this, I am for the first time reading the rest of that paragraph, but at the time I skipped to the next one (The rest of that paragraph reads “scent of magnolia blossoms is blended with sweet honeysuckle, white sandalwood and soft amber.”)

I continued at the next paragraph:

“Daily Beauty Ritual: Smooth over skin, focusing on dry spots like elbows, heels and knees.”

Daily Beauty Ritual??? Are you worshipping your body and offering this cream as a sacrifice? what the HECK!? Ok, so I guess it must be some sort of lotion? Will it work on your hands, or is it only good for elbows, heels and knees? At this point I was just pretty much disgusted.

Do girls really like this crap? Like, seriously, why can’t the front of the bottle say in huge black letters:

LOTION

Preferrably, if it is targeted towards men, right above lotion, in half the font size of the word “LOTION” it would say “MENS” (that’s right, not even an apostrophy to show possessive, keep it simple).

Ok, so:

MENS

LOTION

Then, when you flip it around it says:

“Fixes dry, itchy skin.

Apply to problem area as needed.

Not Nasty.

Not Smelly.

Not Greasy.

Tested on animals and humans to ensure safety.”

I’d buy that and use it in a second. BODY CREAM??? Nope. I’d never even give it a second glance on the shelf. This crap has been sitting in my bathroom for at least a month and I’ve never even given it a second glance.

Oh, I did rub a little on, and now my hand smells funny. At least it’s not as itchy… So I guess it was probably lotion…

Here’s #2 in my code animal series:

Prototype Sketch of Leopard at keyboard

This one was extremely fun to make. The monkey was fun, but this one was a blast. I learned a lot about Leopards and Jaguars while doing it. It’s a lot more detailed than the monkey as a result, and if I do make this into some sort of Flash cartoon series, or a comic strip, this is the only time I’ll be drawing her this detailed (yeah, it’s a her).

To the keen eye, you can actually tell that this beast is a Jaguar, not a Leopard. Jaguars have a darker orange color, compared to Leopard’s lighter (almost white) coloring. Also, note the pink nose. Leopard’s noses are almost black.

Leopards are from Africa/Asia. Jaguars are from the Americas. But, when you look at their behaviors and coloring, it seems they are basically the same cat, just removed from each other by several centuries.

The reason I am calling this a Leopard instead of a Jaguar (even though Jaguar is an infinitely cooler name, and Leopard reminds people of crApple) is because of the awesome hunting behavior of the Leopard.

Let me digress for a moment. Each of these code animals I am drawing is a metaphor for programmer personalities.

The Code Monkey is a crazy fast, highly caffeinated, crack coder. They get the job done, but good lord is it ugly!

The Code Mole is a highly skilled, appropriately careful, somewhat reclusive, programmer. It refers to books, and other reference material, and stops to survey it’s design for flaws. However, when needed, the Code Mole can tuck it’s head down and dig like crazy to get the code done. How much time the Code Mole has given itself to plan it’s system will directly effect the quality of the result.

The Code Turtle is a Code Mole in the making. However, for whatever reason, the Turtle is tentative and cautious. It can get the job done, and it can even do a great job, but it’s really slow. The Turtle get’s spooked at the first sign of trouble and ducks back in it’s shell to reconsider everything before continuing.

The Code Hawk has a 10,000 foot view of the system. They might have grown up near the code, but now they are very hands off, keeping an eye on everything and constantly evaluating everything. When needed, the Code Hawk will swoop in for a quick kill before immediately resuming it’s lofty heights. (This is obviously a managerial role. Hard to even call it a “Code” Hawk, since even a non-programmer can sometimes assume this role)

This brings us to the Code Leopard, and finally, to the African Leopard’s hunting style. You see, the Leopard is the only large cat to live in trees. The Leopard does everything from the tree. Even hunt. That’s right, some little water buffalo comes walking along and all of the sudden–BAM! The Leopard pownces down on him from out of the tree! Maybe crush the spine, quick skull crushing snap of the jaws, twitch of the head to snap the neck, then the Leopard drags it back up into the tree (keeps away the scavengers). So, the Code Leopard has a bigger view of the code base, but they are still “in it”. This would be more of a debugger, tester, quick-fix type coder. Probably a super-visor, or a team lead/head coder. They know how the whole system works, and when they see a problem that needs knocked out, the jump on it, kill it, and get back up in that tree.

Let me know if you have any other Code Aminal(tm) ideas!

Semi-interesting trivia about the creation of this image: Last Sunday I was watching a PBS special on African cats, which is what generated the idea for the Leopard. I couldn’t remember what kind of cat it was afterwards, only the hollow-spot pattern. When I looked up “Jaguar” on Google, I saw the hollow-spots and assumed that was the right cat. Then, when looking at Jaguar pictures on this page noticed it lived in North America, meaning it could not be my cat…

So I Googled “African Cats” and discovered the cat I was after was, in fact, a Leopard. Thus the name change from “Code Jaguar” to “Code Leopard” (since I referenced the Jaguar picture only to color it in. The sketch and lines I drew from my memory of the PBS special, and looking at it now, I realize it most closely originally resembled the stuffed white tiger my wife used to snuggle with).

While I was Googling cats, I found this (on this page):

Simply spectacular!